Halloween encompasses all of the fall traditions that we love: hay-rides, bonfires, and colorful vegetation that is getting ready to shed its leaves for the winter. However, some view Halloween as a form of self-expression rather than a celebration of fall. If you are one of those people, then this article is definitely for you. My colleagues here at Health Life have asked me to come up with a list of costumes that are sure to get everyone laughing at whatever event you attend. So without further ado, here are my costumes:

• Banana Suit: Come on, guys! This is a classic. Nothing gets a party going like a guy in a big, yellow banana suit singing the “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” song. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, just search YouTube for “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” and you will either instantly love it or instantly be concerned for the mental health of the next generation.
• Mullet: Ahh, nothing says, “‘Merica” like the old fashioned mullet. Let me go down the list of people you can be with a mullet. Billy Ray Cyrus, Andre Agassi, Patrick Swayze, Hulk Hogan, and, last but certainly not least, Chuck Norris. Yeah, I know you heard that bald eagle screech after you read his name because that’s what happens whenever Chuck Norris is mentioned. It’s also followed by slow building chants of USA anywhere you walk, so if you don’t want to be an attraction, don’t be Chuck Norris.
• Steve Bartman: This is an oldie/goodie, but it’s also potentially dangerous. If you run into an actual Cubs fan, he or she may physically assault you for continuing the franchise’s curse of being the loveable losers. All you need for this outfit is a Chicago Cubs hat and a set of ear phones. This will be a definite attention grabber, and you’ll get some laughs out of it, but if you’re going to Chicago for Halloween, disregard this option entirely for your own safety.
• Ellen DeGeneres: Ladies, this one may be the most difficult to pull off, but if you can do it, then you are sure to be the life of the party. This requires a white jacket, white pants, and white shoes. Also, finding a blonde, short-haired wig will definitely help. If you combine that with a bubbly attitude, then you have the makings of a hit costume because who doesn’t love Ellen? Nobody, that’s who.

Minions: Parents, if you’re looking for a hilarious costume for your child, look no further. No, I don’t care if all the other parents are dressing their children up as minions; you need to do so as well. Could you imagine a street full of little children following their parents around with little minion costumes on? It’s cute and hilarious. There is no negative that can come from this option other than mixing your kid up with someone else’s. But hey, live life on the edge for once.

Kill ‘em with Laughter this Halloween: 5 Funny & Cheap Ideas for Halloween Costumes

Written by Zack Pine

September 2016 | Health&Life